New Year’s Eve has to be one of the most reflective days of the year. I find it melancholic, although since I tend towards melancholy it sits with me just fine. I’ve found myself in a reflective pose for the past 2 months. Reflecting on this time last year, on how difficult that season was for us as a family and marvelling at just how far we’ve come and how wonderfully different life is this year. My reoccurring theme in conversation especially with those who walked through Micah’s mental illness with us is God’s overwhelming care, His own self in the middle of the hardest thing we’ve ever faced, His provision through the right people, in the right place at the right time for Micah has completely blown me away. God is good. He is faithful. God is kind, merciful, gentle, just and all the things that I’ve been taught about Him and the more that I’m yet to discover, they are all true. The one thing that I have learnt in the past 14 months over and over again is that I can fully trust my Father in Heaven. Fully, totally and completely trust Him. In the darkest moments, when fear gripped my soul, when I felt like I had lost my life forever, when I was totally out of my depth and didn’t know how to parent anymore, in those moments I heard him tell me, “trust me, Michelle.” So 2016 unfolded into a year of trust where sometimes it was easier than others. At times I wrestled and took control again, only to hand it back again.
I’ve been pondering the year ahead, this time last year I couldn’t even do that, it was still a day at a time existence. But this NYE I feel the freedom and lightness to look ahead with hope and expectation. Something shifted for me during my trip to India in Nov, I still can’t articulate the what, but I felt it, the shift, a move in my soul. I can look forward with a deeper understanding of what it means to trust God, it feels like new deep pilings in my foundation that give me the confidence to build this year without fear that I can’t sustain it.
My one thing for 2017 is to be faithful. Faithful to my family, to Jason and my boys, faithful to deepening my friendship with Jesus and faithful to the call he has placed on my life. It’s not dramatic, it’s the ‘left foot, right foot’ approach to living my life well. To be faithful means I am committing to being present, to being disciplined, to following through, to not quitting, to learning from my Father what true faithfulness looks like. It might mean that I take some risks this year, it could mean that I stop putting off the things I have been putting off and finally get stuck in. Or it could mean hunkering down and living life at a deeper, fuller more sacrificial level.
I’m expectant, I’m hopeful and I feel the wind of the Holy Spirit on my back as I step into 2017. My prayer for you is that whatever year you’re leaving and whatever you are anticipating in the year ahead that you would know deeply the love of Father God, that you would experience the life changing friendship of Jesus and that you would know the power of the Holy Spirit in your life and bear witness to presence of God in the lives of those you love in 2017.
PS Micah approved this post before I shared it, its always my rule that my boys approve any reference to them before its shared.
PPS total confession time – this post almost didn’t get shared because when I was searching for a hashtag to accompany my image i realised that one of my favourite bloggers Sarah Bessey has also chosen ‘faithful’ as her one word for 2017. Catch her brilliant piece here one of the reasons I blog so little now is that I fear that I have nothing new or original to say and here I am faced with that dilemma head on. Any how I’m posting this, so very often in the Kingdom we will hear over and over the same truth in the one year because the Lord is looking to remind us of something important or timely, I’m choosing to believe that rather than allow my insecurities to win and to delete my post.
Here’s the links to other posts that are relevant to this one and you might also enjoy.